Category: Storytelling

Are you Listening?

Are you Listening? A lot is been said, discussed, trained, argued on listening skills. Be it a debate on television, a healthy discussion with friends, a critical board room meeting or anything – listening holds importance everywhere. If you are listening, you are alert and you are into the game. If you aren’t – you are surely missing something! While thinking about this phenomena, this practice, this significant trait, I was thinking about the 3 princes who left a great message for all of us about Active Listening. Once there was a king who had three sons. As the king was aging, he decided that he should handover his throne to his sons. He consulted to his wisest ministers and reached a conclusion that as he doesn’t have a big empire so he can’t divide his empire in three parts and give it to his sons. So he decided that he will hold competition which will assess the Princes on various parameters like intelligence, diplomacy, strategy etc. After some more consultations with his ministers he announced the competition and invited all his countrymen to witness the occasion. The competition began. The princes were given very difficult tasks to perform and they finished those tasks very efficiently. Then there was a competition to check their knowledge on topics like diplomacy, war, strategy, economics, politics etc. They all answered the most difficult questions with ease and at the end of the competition their scores tied. This was a big problem for the king as he was at the crossroads again. He announced to extend the competition for one more day and returned to his palace. He called his ministers again and discussed the days’ outcome. One of his ministers suggested something and the king agreed to him. Next day the competition begun and everyone was expecting something very tough to happen. The King gestured and there came three statues made up of Gold, Silver & Bronze. Then he asked all three prince to examine and pick the best statue. First came the Eldest, he examined the three statues and came back to his seat. Then came the middle one, he examined the statues and returned to his seat. Lastly it was turn of the youngest prince. He examined the statues carefully and after spending some time he too returned to his seat and sat. Now king called the eldest prince and asked his opinion. The eldest prince answered that the Gold statue is the best as it’s made of gold which the most precious metal and signifies prosperity. Hence the statue made up of Gold is the best. Unsatisfied with the answer of the eldest prince, the king called the younger one and asked his opinion, he answered that the Silver Statue is the best as nature of silver is cold so it would help control anger and a Kings greatest asset is to control his emotions and take a rational decision. So statue made up of silver is the best. King liked the answer but was not fully satisfied and called the youngest prince for his judgment. The youngest prince answered the bronze statue is the best statue. The King asked the reason behind adjudging the bronze statue as the best. To explain his choice, the prince asked a servant to bring a long bamboo stick. The servant brought the bamboo stick and gave it to him. Then the prince picked the Gold statue and put the bamboo stick in its ear. To everyone’s surprise the bamboo came out of the other ear. Then he picked the silver statue and inserted the bamboo stick in its ear and it came out of the mouth. After that he inserted the stick in the other ear and it came out of the mouth again. now he picked the third statue and inserted the stick in the ear of the same. Everyone was expecting that the stick will come out through other ear or mouth. But it didn’t. The Prince inserted the remaining stick in the ear but there was no sign of the stick. He placed it at its position. And picked the gold statue and then explained, Gold is the most precious metal but still the statue made up of gold didn’t make the best statue as this statue represent people who comes at a great cost to the nation but doesn’t listen to their king. If there king will say anything to them they will listen from one ear and throw it out from the other ear. Such people are of no use and should be removed from their positions. Then he picked the silver statue and explained, there are people whom you’ll consider as closest to you. If you ever share your secrets with them they will listen with both the ears and will go out and spread your secrets everywhere they go. Such people are enemies of the country hence should be dealt very strictly. Then he picked the last statue and explained why he adjudged it as the best. One should be like bronze statue and should listen to everything not only with his ears but also with his eyes and heart. Whatever is being said to him, he should be able to absorb it and utilize it for everyone. The king was so happy with the answer that he announced him the winner of the competition and handed over the throne to him. This is an old story which tells us the importance of active listening. But like most of my listeners, you must be wondering – why this story for listening? How is this relevant – isn’t this about the decision making and analysis. When I got further into the understanding, I realized ‘No’ there is a message for listening skills. Imagine the similar situations in the work atmosphere, link the statue traits to the people we work with, we meet in everyday life. There are people who listen and ignore because they are firm… Continue reading Are you Listening?

Find your Inner Strength

A week back, while I was working on a leadership module for a level II executive batch of middle management & senior executives, I thought of another story from Indian mythology to back my content. Like I always maintain, stories enable a total recall. Stories not only evoke our brain cells but they also summon up the lessons. To explain, let me share an incident from Ramayana– Ravan abducted Mata Sita, Lord Ram’s wife, and took her to his capital, Lanka. Lord Ram searched for his wife all over and reached Rishyamukha where he met Hanuman and Sugrive and their Vanar Sena (Army). Lord Ram helped Sugrive regain his honor and reunite with his wife, who was abducted by his brother Bali. Hanuman and his Vanar Sena pledged to help Lord Ram and find Mata Sita. Lord Ram gave his ring which was to be shown to Mata Sita to establish their identity that they were sent by Lord Ram. The Vanars lead by Angad spread all across and started searching for Mata Sita. They reached the southern end of the land and ahead was a vast ocean. Crossing the ocean was a great challenge and they were sure that they won’t return without finding Mata Sita and decided that they will fast unto death. There they met, Sampati , a vulture and brother of Jatayu, who tells them that Mata Sita is in cruel shackles of Ravan and is sitting under a tree in his palace in Lanka. Sampati asks them to use their strength and skills to cross the ocean and reach Lanka. Like any new assignment, conflict or situation in our jobs/everyday life, they did their SWOT analysis. While they discussed their strengths and calculated how far they can go in the ocean- they realized that it won’t come close to crossing the ocean. Listening to all this, Hanuman got discouraged and separates himself from the group. He was getting into a stressful pressure cooker situation – he had the pressure to perform and accomplish the task at hand. Noticing him standing alone and discouraged, Jambavanth who was older than all the Vanars, goes to him and tells him about his strengths and tells him that he’s the only one who can cross the ocean. And all Vanars starts praising Hanuman. This is how a good boss, a leader influences the team and like most of the times – few could realize their inner strength and true potential. Jambavanth kept on telling – You are as powerful as the wind You are intelligent, illustrious & an inventor. There is nothing in this world that’s too difficult for you. You possess the ability to rule against every obstacle. As per Ramayana, Hanuman was cursed by a sage during childhood that he will forget his strengths and would be unaware of the extent of his capability & potential until he’s reminded by someone. Like in the modern age, we are surrounded by so many distractions, attractions, aspirations, opportunities, ill-focus and peer pressure that we start worrying about the problem so much that we eventually forget about our own inner strengths and we end up thinking about the problem so much that we do not even think about the solution. Remember, the capability to achieve things from our own inner strength lies inside, we only need to realize it and attempt. As Hanuman became aware of his strengths, his stature became giant and he collected his inner strength, tall enough to cross the ocean he jumped the ocean to in search of Mata Sita. [You can watch the relevant video from Ramayana here] Knowing ones strengths is most important for anyone who wants to be successful in his life. A true leader knows the art of exploring the strengths of his team member and motivates them to work on their strength to reach a common objective. Circumstances, Situations, Peer pressure, People Conflict are all external factors but one’s own strength lies within. Your success lies inside you. Realize and succeed.

Trap of 99- Striking the Work Life Balance

Once there was a Seth (Rich Man). One night the Seth and Sethani (his wife) were standing on the terrace of their house and they saw their neighbor, a Brahmin, playing with his kids and seemed very happy with his kids. While Brahmin was busy playing with his kids, Sethani told the Seth that their neighbors are poor still they are happier than them, they spend more time together. Upon listening to his wife he told his wife that their neighbors are happier because they are not under trap of 99. His wife asked what he means by the trap of 99. He asked his wife to wait for some time and she will come to know. Calling it a day then, they went to sleep. Next day when the Brahmin‘s wife woke up and opened the door of their house, she saw a small bag lying in front of the door. She looked around but couldn’t locate anyone. So she picked up the bag and brought it inside and called her husband. Upon opening the bag they saw gold coins in it. Curiously they counted the coins and found it has 99 coins. Brahmin was very happy to see the money and thanked God. But his wife said, “Had there been one more coin in it, they could have had 100 coins”. Upon seeing disappointment on his wife’s face, Brahmin told her not to worry as he’ll work hard and will earn one more gold coin and make it 100. And his wife told him that they spoiled their precious time and should have tried and made some money. And from that day onward they started putting more hard work in their work to earn gold coin and they forgot playing with their kids and stopped laughing. Now Sethani understood the reason behind the change in Brahmin’s family as they were trapped by 99. The ‘trap of 99’ is nothing but a phenomena of craving for more, which defines the human nature of not being satisfied and happy with what they have but to invite stress and tensions in the chase for what all they do not have. This is an age old story which tells us not to be trapped by 99 and teaches to enjoy our lives with whatever we have and to strike a work life balance. But what we see around is most of us are running in an endless rat race. People are so busy and held up in fulfilling their aspirations that they forget to give enough time to their families which results into more stressed lives, low productivity and a feeling of incomplete life. Take a moment and think about the increasing trend in divorce cases, children going against their parents, alcohol problem, drug abuse, suicides and what not. Society is victimized by this imbalance because families are becoming nuclear, parents cannot cope up with their work, kids are over burdened to perform and everybody needs space. What a vicious circle it is – of growth and development! Cost of living is so high these days that people hardly get enough money so they try to work harder to earn more and compromise on their personal life and aspirations. After all, man is a social animal. However, the trap doesn’t deny the hard-working or chase for achievement. It just suggests that a balance is required. One should not ignore his work; neither shall one stop dreaming/aspiring. But all this should not be done at the cost of his/her family. So what do we do in such a situation? Strike a Work Life BALANCE. Balancing work with life is a matter of grave concern for the companies as well as their employees. This kind of imbalance is resulting into low productivity and high attrition. It is unfortunate to see that most of the companies remain ignorant on the long term cost involved to create a work-life balanced environment. They fail to realize that this thus leads to loss of talent, performance and ultimately revenues. Here are some simple ways on how to strike balance between family and work life: 1. Prioritize: Do not plan too many things together and don’t treat everything as top priority. Finish urgent tasks first and then take important ones. The important tasks should be finished before they become urgent. Check what can wait. 2. Have a Support System-Delegate: One cannot do everything by himself. Try and have a support system among family, colleagues and friends, who are willing to help if something unexpected happens. Learn to delegate and help others, if they are in need. This will not only help to finish the task within time limits but will also create bonding within the team. But delegate only if you are not disturbing the other person’s schedule. 3. SAY ‘YES’ to ‘NO’: You must know – what you can take up in your stride and what not. If you have a list to abide by, you don’t have to agree to everything and to everyone. Say No to something which is beyond your physical & mental stamina because neither you’ll be able to do justice with the task and nor with yourself. Through this you would also avoid unnecessary negativity and pressure. 4. Set SMART Goals: Set Specific >> Measurable >> Action Oriented>> Realistic >>Time Bound Goals. Break your goals in smaller goals. Develop plan to reach those goals on daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis and keep a tab on your progress. If things don’t change and the strategy which you have formulated is not working, alter your strategy and make it in sync with the resources you have. Alteration in your strategy should not change your goals. It’s just like taking some new route to reach your destination. Don’t forget to share your goals with your family and make them partner to your goals. 5. Create Work Life Happiness: Don’t work to earn only money. Work to create happiness, towards self satisfaction and the money… Continue reading Trap of 99- Striking the Work Life Balance

Opportunity and You

Opportunity and You ! Once there was a king who was at war with a much larger country. His army fought with great courage but was beaten six times and finally the king and his army were driven in flight by his opponents. At last his entire army was scattered and the king was forced to hide in a cave. The king became miserable. He was tired, hungry and had given up all hope. The enemy was so powerful that he felt defeated and thought there was no use of trying anything more.As he was thinking about his future, he saw a spider trying to jump on her web. She jumped but fell short of her web. She tried again but failed again. And when she failed for the sixth time, the king thought, now she also knows what it feels like to fail for six times. But the spider didn’t lose hope and kept on trying. She made herself ready to try for the seventh time. The king forgot about his sorrows and watched her trying one more time. The spider swung herself to the corner of the cave and jumped on the web. The king’s heart came to his mouth when he saw her jumping on the web successfully. He was so enthralled that he cried and said – “Yes! I’ll also try for the seventh time.” He came out of the cave and called his men and told them what he had seen inside. He made a new strategy and regrouped his army. Then he fought for the seventh time and defeated his enemy. There’s an old saying which says, “Opportunity knocks the door once”. But, I fail to believe it. In fact we knock the doors which lead to our dreams. Opportunity is very curious and just to satisfy her curiosity, to see who is knocking the door, it opens the door and upon knowing who wants to grab her, she shuts the door in fraction of second and we miss the opportunity. Success and failure of a person depends whether he dares or not; to extend his hand, the moment opportunity opens her door, to grab it or keep on waiting for the opportunity to hold our hand and get along with us. But opportunity never opens the door to let us grab it. And we not only lose opportunity but we also lose the hope. To be successful in our lives, we need to dare and grab every opportunity that comes our way. Even if there is no opportunity, one should look for creating one. When the king was in the cave, he was defeated not only by the enemy but it was a ‘state of mind’ influenced by his circumstances, fatigue and hunger. The moment he saw the spider trying to jump on the web, he saw an opportunity in trying once again. He tried and he won the war. Moral of the story: Do not wait for opportunity to knock, chase it instead.

Lessons from Mahabharata

Mahabharata is one of our Puranas and is considered to be an ocean of wisdom. Every story of the epic teaches us so many lessons. In this post I’ll share a story from the epic and Lessons from Mahabharata. Here’s the Story: After losing their kingdom to Kauravas in gambling Pandavas were forced to go and live in the forest. Lot of their friends including various Maharishis’ used to visit them. They found it very difficult to give them food. So Draupadi, the wife of Pandavas, prayed the Surya Dev (The Sun God). He gave her one Akshaya Patra which would give any amount of food in a day, till Draupadi takes her food. With the Akshaya Patra the Pandavas were able to give food to all their guests. The Kauravas wanted to trouble them further. They requested Maharishi Durvasa to visit Pandavas late in the night. Durvasa was very short tempered and used to curse people whenever he got annoyed. Durvasa reached Pandava’s’ camp in the forest after Draupadi had taken her food. Pandavas welcomed Maharishi Durvasa and asked him if he will have dinner and Maharishi Durvasa told them that he is yet to have dinner. Knowing there was no food at home, Pandavas requested Maharishi Durvasa to go and take bath in the river so that they can keep food ready. Pandavas were very confused as they did not know what to do. If they tell him that they have already eaten food and there is nothing they can offer in Dinner, he could curse them. Draupadi prayed Lord Krishna for help. Lord Krishna came immediately. He said to Draupadi, “Sister, I am hungry, give me food.” Draupadi was confused and started crying. Lord Krishna asked her to bring Akshaya Patra. In the corner of the Akshaya Patra, one rice grain was sticking. Krishna took the rice, ate it and drank some water. He told Draupadi, “Thanks a lot, my stomach is now full”. He then went away. At that time Maharishi Durvasa was taking his bath. Suddenly he felt that his stomach was full. He was worried that he had made Pandavas cook food for him. He came and excused himself. Like this Lord Krishna solved the problem of Pandavas. From that day onwards Hindu women don’t keep their chapati boxes empty as symbol of their faith in Lord Krishna, believing if they ever get caught in such a situation then Lord Krishna will come for their rescue. You must be wondering why am I sharing this story of Pandavas and Maharishi Durvasa with you, as neither of us, under any circumstances, is going to live in the forest and nor will have guests, like Maharishi Durvasa, with the power to curse. There is certainly no formula to a Happy Life but there is certainly a will to stay happy and some lessons that would make life much easier. The above story brought to me so many inferences, read out if you can relate and learn: Kauravas were Pandavas’ enemies still Pandavas were ignorant about their strategy. Never let your competitors to be out of your sight and don’t give them a chance to trouble/hurt you when you are unarmed. We may have all the luxuries like Akshaya Patra but If we don’t save for our future, we’ll definitely end up facing difficulties/curses in our lives. Save something for future on daily basis. Maharishi Durvasa was very shot tempered but Pandavas engaged him and sent him to take bath.< It’s very easy to manage difficult people by engaging them. Though Pandavas didn’t had any food for Maharishi Durvasa, still they didn’t tell this to him. Listening is the most difficult task on the earth; learn to be calm in difficulty. Pandavas sent Maharishi Durvasa to take bath so that they can arrange for the food. Timing of your action is most important. Buy time in case of emergency and never take decisions in haste. We need to have such good friends, like Lord Krishna, who can save us from difficulties. Invest in relationships. Though Pandavas were forced to live in forest still they kept on meeting/inviting their friends and various sages. Don’t let your relationships perish with time. Keep in touch with old buddies and friends. As Draupadi used to be last one to eat food ensure you don’t use/consume all resources at one go. Trust your friends like Draupadi trusted Lord Krishna. Don’t hide things from people you trust. If you are right & truthful God himself will come for help. Never lose hope. Choose Happiness. It’s a way of life.

Creativity and Innovation – The Thirsty Crow way

Let me take you back to the age old story of ‘Thirsty Crow’. Once there was a crow. He was very thirsty. He went here and there in search of water. At last he saw a water pot. He looked inside the pot. There was very little water inside the pot. The crow saw some stones nearby. He thought of a plan. He picked some stones and started putting stones inside the pot one by one. The water level came up. He drank the water and flew away happily. This story was amongst the first few I was told during my childhood. The then moral of the story was ‘‘Where there is will, there is a way’’ but life is all about exploring and evolving constantly. Going with that we human beings are the certainly the most accommodating and we instantly look for solutions. I have been observing people, reasons vary – the pressure of circumstances, peer pressure, family expectations and what not. Everybody loves short-cuts and ‘Jugaad’ for that reason is picking up fast. It is no more a way of life…it is smart strategy. The solution and results matter at last – for my driver, the maid, the friends, the colleagues and almost everyone around. If someone bangs the idea of ethical ways – people just disregard the philosophy and feel that you are not aware of how the world works. How to get the job done is no more a concern, to get the job done is what matters. To share an experience – few days back I had gone to meet my Uncle at Aligarh and on the way back my car broke down. I was around 25 kms from the city. I called my cousin to help and in half an hour’s time he came to the rescue with a mechanic. He checked my car and told me that it needs to be taken to workshop. I told him I can’t spare that much of time as it was already 3 pm and I had an urgent meeting the very next day. He said in Hindi, “To iska koi jugaad ker deta hoon” (“He will do something”- Read it as temporary arrangement) so that I can reach Gurgaon. He connected some wires to the battery and asked me to test if the car is fine. I checked and my car was working perfectly. I thanked him and started my journey to Gurgaon and in around 4 hours I was there at my home in Gurgaon. Next day I went to a nearby service station and got my car repaired. Defining Jugaad ‘Jugaad’ is a word which is used very frequently in day to day life. As per Wikipedia, Jugaad means an innovative fix or a simple work-around, sometimes pejoratively used for solutions that bend rules, or a resource that can be used as such, or a person who can solve a vexatious issue. Both concepts express a need to do what needs to be done, without regard to what is conventionally supposed to be possible. Indovation, Chinovation, Hack, Kludge are some of the words which are used as synonyms to Jugaad. All the concepts express need to do what needs to be done without taking the same old beaten path. And The Thirsty Crow was the first to travel ‘the Jugaad way’ and now I know the current moral of the story is to use possible means, creativity and innovation whichever can help human kind to live a solution driven life.

The Little Angel

Do you believe in angels? Have you ever seen an angel? I never believed till the time I didn’t meet a Little Angel. I was very young when I started learning to ride bicycle. I was quick to learn and just after a couple of practice sessions I was able to ride on my own. I was quite confident that now I can ride fast. As they say confidence is good but overconfidence always sinks the ship and I learnt this hard way while riding. I was driving fast when I saw a scooter taking a sharp turn and moving in my direction. I panicked and I applied the brakes. I lost control of the bicycle and I fell down on the road. A couple of bystanders rushed to help me. They picked me from the road and I was bleeding from my nose. They took me to a nearby hospital for the first aid. Doctor checked my injuries and asked if any of my family members was around. I gave him my father contact number and he was there at the hospital in next few minutes. Doctor told my father that there are no internal injuries but to stop bleeding I needed a couple of stitches, to which my father agreed. Doctor asked the nurse to give me an injection and then he will stitch the wounds. I was very scared of injections and I started crying due to tyrpanophobia. The moment nurse started filling the injection my screams got louder and louder. I was crying so loudly that my screams were audible to everyone present in the hospital. My father and everyone around tried their level best to make me agree for the injection but I was determined not to take injection. While they were trying to give me an injection forcefully, a 7-8 years old kid came to my bed and touched my head with his small hands. I could not stop myself looking at him as he said, “ਵੀਰੇ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਟੀਕੇ ਤੋਂ ਡਰਦੇ ਕਿਉਂ ਹੋ? ਮੈਂ ਤਾਂ ਨਹੀਂ ਡਰਦਾ l ਟੀਕੇ ਦਾ ਦਰਦ ਚਾਰ ਸਾਹਿਬਜ਼ਾਦਿਆਂ ਦੇ ਸ਼ਰੀਰਾਂ ਤੇ ਚੱਲੀਆਂ ਕਟਾਰਾਂ ਤੋਂ ਕਿਤੇ ਘੱਟ ਹੁੰਦਾ ਹੈ.”- (“Dear Brother, why are you scared of an injection? I not scared of anything. Pain of this injection is not even a fraction of the pain four sons of Guru Gobind Singh Ji would have suffered when they were hit by swords fighting evil”). His words just mesmerized me I stopped crying and got the injection. While doctor was stitching my wounds I was thinking about the sacrifices of four sons of Guru Gobind Singh Ji. Their sacrifice was for others and they had no personal interests while injection and stitches were for my early recovery. Surprisingly I felt no pain at all during the small surgery. I promised myself that I’ll never be scared again from such petty things like injections or stitches. I recovered in a couple of weeks and soon afterwards I started riding my bicycle again. I don’t know who he was? Where did he come from? Why did he inspire me to take the injection? I never saw him again and to this day I believe him to be “the little angel’, who was sent by God. He is amongst my biggest sources of inspiration. Whenever I see people scared from troubles of their lives; I share the story of ‘The Little Angel’ and tell them the importance of pains which leads us to better life.