Find your Inner Strength

A week back, while I was working on a leadership module for a level II executive batch of middle management & senior executives, I thought of another story from Indian mythology to back my content. Like I always maintain, stories enable a total recall. Stories not only evoke our brain cells but they also summon up the lessons. To explain, let me share an incident from Ramayana– Ravan abducted Mata Sita, Lord Ram’s wife, and took her to his capital, Lanka. Lord Ram searched for his wife all over and reached Rishyamukha where he met Hanuman and Sugrive and their Vanar Sena (Army). Lord Ram helped Sugrive regain his honor and reunite with his wife, who was abducted by his brother Bali. Hanuman and his Vanar Sena pledged to help Lord Ram and find Mata Sita. Lord Ram gave his ring which was to be shown to Mata Sita to establish their identity that they were sent by Lord Ram. The Vanars lead by Angad spread all across and started searching for Mata Sita. They reached the southern end of the land and ahead was a vast ocean. Crossing the ocean was a great challenge and they were sure that they won’t return without finding Mata Sita and decided that they will fast unto death. There they met, Sampati , a vulture and brother of Jatayu, who tells them that Mata Sita is in cruel shackles of Ravan and is sitting under a tree in his palace in Lanka. Sampati asks them to use their strength and skills to cross the ocean and reach Lanka. Like any new assignment, conflict or situation in our jobs/everyday life, they did their SWOT analysis. While they discussed their strengths and calculated how far they can go in the ocean- they realized that it won’t come close to crossing the ocean. Listening to all this, Hanuman got discouraged and separates himself from the group. He was getting into a stressful pressure cooker situation – he had the pressure to perform and accomplish the task at hand. Noticing him standing alone and discouraged, Jambavanth who was older than all the Vanars, goes to him and tells him about his strengths and tells him that he’s the only one who can cross the ocean. And all Vanars starts praising Hanuman. This is how a good boss, a leader influences the team and like most of the times – few could realize their inner strength and true potential. Jambavanth kept on telling – You are as powerful as the wind You are intelligent, illustrious & an inventor. There is nothing in this world that’s too difficult for you. You possess the ability to rule against every obstacle. As per Ramayana, Hanuman was cursed by a sage during childhood that he will forget his strengths and would be unaware of the extent of his capability & potential until he’s reminded by someone. Like in the modern age, we are surrounded by so many distractions, attractions, aspirations, opportunities, ill-focus and peer pressure that we start worrying about the problem so much that we eventually forget about our own inner strengths and we end up thinking about the problem so much that we do not even think about the solution. Remember, the capability to achieve things from our own inner strength lies inside, we only need to realize it and attempt. As Hanuman became aware of his strengths, his stature became giant and he collected his inner strength, tall enough to cross the ocean he jumped the ocean to in search of Mata Sita. [You can watch the relevant video from Ramayana here] Knowing ones strengths is most important for anyone who wants to be successful in his life. A true leader knows the art of exploring the strengths of his team member and motivates them to work on their strength to reach a common objective. Circumstances, Situations, Peer pressure, People Conflict are all external factors but one’s own strength lies within. Your success lies inside you. Realize and succeed.

Trap of 99- Striking the Work Life Balance

Once there was a Seth (Rich Man). One night the Seth and Sethani (his wife) were standing on the terrace of their house and they saw their neighbor, a Brahmin, playing with his kids and seemed very happy with his kids. While Brahmin was busy playing with his kids, Sethani told the Seth that their neighbors are poor still they are happier than them, they spend more time together. Upon listening to his wife he told his wife that their neighbors are happier because they are not under trap of 99. His wife asked what he means by the trap of 99. He asked his wife to wait for some time and she will come to know. Calling it a day then, they went to sleep. Next day when the Brahmin‘s wife woke up and opened the door of their house, she saw a small bag lying in front of the door. She looked around but couldn’t locate anyone. So she picked up the bag and brought it inside and called her husband. Upon opening the bag they saw gold coins in it. Curiously they counted the coins and found it has 99 coins. Brahmin was very happy to see the money and thanked God. But his wife said, “Had there been one more coin in it, they could have had 100 coins”. Upon seeing disappointment on his wife’s face, Brahmin told her not to worry as he’ll work hard and will earn one more gold coin and make it 100. And his wife told him that they spoiled their precious time and should have tried and made some money. And from that day onward they started putting more hard work in their work to earn gold coin and they forgot playing with their kids and stopped laughing. Now Sethani understood the reason behind the change in Brahmin’s family as they were trapped by 99. The ‘trap of 99’ is nothing but a phenomena of craving for more, which defines the human nature of not being satisfied and happy with what they have but to invite stress and tensions in the chase for what all they do not have. This is an age old story which tells us not to be trapped by 99 and teaches to enjoy our lives with whatever we have and to strike a work life balance. But what we see around is most of us are running in an endless rat race. People are so busy and held up in fulfilling their aspirations that they forget to give enough time to their families which results into more stressed lives, low productivity and a feeling of incomplete life. Take a moment and think about the increasing trend in divorce cases, children going against their parents, alcohol problem, drug abuse, suicides and what not. Society is victimized by this imbalance because families are becoming nuclear, parents cannot cope up with their work, kids are over burdened to perform and everybody needs space. What a vicious circle it is – of growth and development! Cost of living is so high these days that people hardly get enough money so they try to work harder to earn more and compromise on their personal life and aspirations. After all, man is a social animal. However, the trap doesn’t deny the hard-working or chase for achievement. It just suggests that a balance is required. One should not ignore his work; neither shall one stop dreaming/aspiring. But all this should not be done at the cost of his/her family. So what do we do in such a situation? Strike a Work Life BALANCE. Balancing work with life is a matter of grave concern for the companies as well as their employees. This kind of imbalance is resulting into low productivity and high attrition. It is unfortunate to see that most of the companies remain ignorant on the long term cost involved to create a work-life balanced environment. They fail to realize that this thus leads to loss of talent, performance and ultimately revenues. Here are some simple ways on how to strike balance between family and work life: 1. Prioritize: Do not plan too many things together and don’t treat everything as top priority. Finish urgent tasks first and then take important ones. The important tasks should be finished before they become urgent. Check what can wait. 2. Have a Support System-Delegate: One cannot do everything by himself. Try and have a support system among family, colleagues and friends, who are willing to help if something unexpected happens. Learn to delegate and help others, if they are in need. This will not only help to finish the task within time limits but will also create bonding within the team. But delegate only if you are not disturbing the other person’s schedule. 3. SAY ‘YES’ to ‘NO’: You must know – what you can take up in your stride and what not. If you have a list to abide by, you don’t have to agree to everything and to everyone. Say No to something which is beyond your physical & mental stamina because neither you’ll be able to do justice with the task and nor with yourself. Through this you would also avoid unnecessary negativity and pressure. 4. Set SMART Goals: Set Specific >> Measurable >> Action Oriented>> Realistic >>Time Bound Goals. Break your goals in smaller goals. Develop plan to reach those goals on daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis and keep a tab on your progress. If things don’t change and the strategy which you have formulated is not working, alter your strategy and make it in sync with the resources you have. Alteration in your strategy should not change your goals. It’s just like taking some new route to reach your destination. Don’t forget to share your goals with your family and make them partner to your goals. 5. Create Work Life Happiness: Don’t work to earn only money. Work to create happiness, towards self satisfaction and the money… Continue reading Trap of 99- Striking the Work Life Balance

‘PEMI de Niyane’ (The Children of PEMI)- A Tale of Faith and Belief

Having come across many Introvert, Low in Confidence cases, in my training programs and; personal counseling sessions, one day I tried to explain it in a well simple way through a very simple story which I read somewhere in my childhood. Here is the story: ‘PEMI de Niyane’ (The Children of PEMI)- A Tale of Faith and Belief Once upon a time there was a farmer, called PEMI, who had two naughty kids. To stop his children from doing any mischief he used to scare them by telling them – if they will do any mischief ‘RASHA- The Wood Cutter’, who lived on the road to their farms, will catch and hurt them. This made the kids scared and they gave up their ill-discipline. PEMI was a hard working farmer and used to leave for his farms very early in the morning only to return late in the evening. One day PEMI’s wife was not well and couldn’t cook. So PEMI left for his farms without having breakfast and asked his kids to deliver his lunch at farms. By afternoon PEMI’s wife cooked food and gave it to her kids as they were to deliver the food at farm house, The moment his kids thought of crossing the road, to go to their farms, they shivered with fear. The fear created in the minds for RASHA – they now thought of him as a Monster. Once the food was ready, the mother asked them to go to the farms and give it to their father. They took the lunch box and moved towards the road leading to their farm. When they reached the road they saw a RASHA sleeping on the footpath and came back to their street. They started looking for someone who can help them cross the road. They waited for some time but it was a very hot day of summers hence they couldn’t sight any help. Knowing their father will be very hungry, they thought to cross the road but they were so sacred of RASHA that they couldn’t even dare to leave their street and walk towards the road. With every passing minute they were getting late with no help in sight. They starting thinking how can they cross the road. After many arguments over many permutations and combinations between them, both the children agreed that if RASHA will try to catch and harm them, they will tell him to leave them as they are ‘The Children of PEMI’ and he would be scared of their father and won’t say anything to them. And they started walking on the road and reached their farm safely. This story is amongst the best short stories of Punjabi literature and teaches us to keep Faith and Belief in ourselves. There could be thousands of fears in our minds but self-belief will always help us land safely. The children were scared of RASHA not because he was an evil (The story doesn’t say it) but they were simply insecure. While I pondered and discussed my take-away from this very simple story, I could extract few more and here are they: Wrong learnings have only temporary results and shall be avoided. Restrictions are good but one has to be careful that what & how are its impact. Too many of them lead to lack of confidence. Childhood lessons have great impact and if not learned properly they result in lifetime limitations. Examples shall always be realistic. They turn the explanations – better. In many cases parents do say such things to their children to stop them from doing any mischief. The intentions though right led to certain insecurity in the children’s heart and mind forever. Skepticism can lead to a weak decision making. Communication Gap Mostly children when grown-up fight certain feelings/lacunae in their life – be it at work, socially or personally. The value system which they imbibe at times, leave a gap in mindsets, they start having a mental block – a way of thinking which works as a hurdle when exposed to contrary situations. This at times makes life- all the more difficult. These gaps develop a strange resistance to ideas which are never welcomed. Communications Gaps must not be there. One should have the freedom to express, talk and discuss. For this limits the growth, the personality and the power to acceptance.

Opportunity and You

Opportunity and You ! Once there was a king who was at war with a much larger country. His army fought with great courage but was beaten six times and finally the king and his army were driven in flight by his opponents. At last his entire army was scattered and the king was forced to hide in a cave. The king became miserable. He was tired, hungry and had given up all hope. The enemy was so powerful that he felt defeated and thought there was no use of trying anything more.As he was thinking about his future, he saw a spider trying to jump on her web. She jumped but fell short of her web. She tried again but failed again. And when she failed for the sixth time, the king thought, now she also knows what it feels like to fail for six times. But the spider didn’t lose hope and kept on trying. She made herself ready to try for the seventh time. The king forgot about his sorrows and watched her trying one more time. The spider swung herself to the corner of the cave and jumped on the web. The king’s heart came to his mouth when he saw her jumping on the web successfully. He was so enthralled that he cried and said – “Yes! I’ll also try for the seventh time.” He came out of the cave and called his men and told them what he had seen inside. He made a new strategy and regrouped his army. Then he fought for the seventh time and defeated his enemy. There’s an old saying which says, “Opportunity knocks the door once”. But, I fail to believe it. In fact we knock the doors which lead to our dreams. Opportunity is very curious and just to satisfy her curiosity, to see who is knocking the door, it opens the door and upon knowing who wants to grab her, she shuts the door in fraction of second and we miss the opportunity. Success and failure of a person depends whether he dares or not; to extend his hand, the moment opportunity opens her door, to grab it or keep on waiting for the opportunity to hold our hand and get along with us. But opportunity never opens the door to let us grab it. And we not only lose opportunity but we also lose the hope. To be successful in our lives, we need to dare and grab every opportunity that comes our way. Even if there is no opportunity, one should look for creating one. When the king was in the cave, he was defeated not only by the enemy but it was a ‘state of mind’ influenced by his circumstances, fatigue and hunger. The moment he saw the spider trying to jump on the web, he saw an opportunity in trying once again. He tried and he won the war. Moral of the story: Do not wait for opportunity to knock, chase it instead.

Lessons from Mahabharata

Mahabharata is one of our Puranas and is considered to be an ocean of wisdom. Every story of the epic teaches us so many lessons. In this post I’ll share a story from the epic and Lessons from Mahabharata. Here’s the Story: After losing their kingdom to Kauravas in gambling Pandavas were forced to go and live in the forest. Lot of their friends including various Maharishis’ used to visit them. They found it very difficult to give them food. So Draupadi, the wife of Pandavas, prayed the Surya Dev (The Sun God). He gave her one Akshaya Patra which would give any amount of food in a day, till Draupadi takes her food. With the Akshaya Patra the Pandavas were able to give food to all their guests. The Kauravas wanted to trouble them further. They requested Maharishi Durvasa to visit Pandavas late in the night. Durvasa was very short tempered and used to curse people whenever he got annoyed. Durvasa reached Pandava’s’ camp in the forest after Draupadi had taken her food. Pandavas welcomed Maharishi Durvasa and asked him if he will have dinner and Maharishi Durvasa told them that he is yet to have dinner. Knowing there was no food at home, Pandavas requested Maharishi Durvasa to go and take bath in the river so that they can keep food ready. Pandavas were very confused as they did not know what to do. If they tell him that they have already eaten food and there is nothing they can offer in Dinner, he could curse them. Draupadi prayed Lord Krishna for help. Lord Krishna came immediately. He said to Draupadi, “Sister, I am hungry, give me food.” Draupadi was confused and started crying. Lord Krishna asked her to bring Akshaya Patra. In the corner of the Akshaya Patra, one rice grain was sticking. Krishna took the rice, ate it and drank some water. He told Draupadi, “Thanks a lot, my stomach is now full”. He then went away. At that time Maharishi Durvasa was taking his bath. Suddenly he felt that his stomach was full. He was worried that he had made Pandavas cook food for him. He came and excused himself. Like this Lord Krishna solved the problem of Pandavas. From that day onwards Hindu women don’t keep their chapati boxes empty as symbol of their faith in Lord Krishna, believing if they ever get caught in such a situation then Lord Krishna will come for their rescue. You must be wondering why am I sharing this story of Pandavas and Maharishi Durvasa with you, as neither of us, under any circumstances, is going to live in the forest and nor will have guests, like Maharishi Durvasa, with the power to curse. There is certainly no formula to a Happy Life but there is certainly a will to stay happy and some lessons that would make life much easier. The above story brought to me so many inferences, read out if you can relate and learn: Kauravas were Pandavas’ enemies still Pandavas were ignorant about their strategy. Never let your competitors to be out of your sight and don’t give them a chance to trouble/hurt you when you are unarmed. We may have all the luxuries like Akshaya Patra but If we don’t save for our future, we’ll definitely end up facing difficulties/curses in our lives. Save something for future on daily basis. Maharishi Durvasa was very shot tempered but Pandavas engaged him and sent him to take bath.< It’s very easy to manage difficult people by engaging them. Though Pandavas didn’t had any food for Maharishi Durvasa, still they didn’t tell this to him. Listening is the most difficult task on the earth; learn to be calm in difficulty. Pandavas sent Maharishi Durvasa to take bath so that they can arrange for the food. Timing of your action is most important. Buy time in case of emergency and never take decisions in haste. We need to have such good friends, like Lord Krishna, who can save us from difficulties. Invest in relationships. Though Pandavas were forced to live in forest still they kept on meeting/inviting their friends and various sages. Don’t let your relationships perish with time. Keep in touch with old buddies and friends. As Draupadi used to be last one to eat food ensure you don’t use/consume all resources at one go. Trust your friends like Draupadi trusted Lord Krishna. Don’t hide things from people you trust. If you are right & truthful God himself will come for help. Never lose hope. Choose Happiness. It’s a way of life.

Creativity and Innovation – The Thirsty Crow way

Let me take you back to the age old story of ‘Thirsty Crow’. Once there was a crow. He was very thirsty. He went here and there in search of water. At last he saw a water pot. He looked inside the pot. There was very little water inside the pot. The crow saw some stones nearby. He thought of a plan. He picked some stones and started putting stones inside the pot one by one. The water level came up. He drank the water and flew away happily. This story was amongst the first few I was told during my childhood. The then moral of the story was ‘‘Where there is will, there is a way’’ but life is all about exploring and evolving constantly. Going with that we human beings are the certainly the most accommodating and we instantly look for solutions. I have been observing people, reasons vary – the pressure of circumstances, peer pressure, family expectations and what not. Everybody loves short-cuts and ‘Jugaad’ for that reason is picking up fast. It is no more a way of life…it is smart strategy. The solution and results matter at last – for my driver, the maid, the friends, the colleagues and almost everyone around. If someone bangs the idea of ethical ways – people just disregard the philosophy and feel that you are not aware of how the world works. How to get the job done is no more a concern, to get the job done is what matters. To share an experience – few days back I had gone to meet my Uncle at Aligarh and on the way back my car broke down. I was around 25 kms from the city. I called my cousin to help and in half an hour’s time he came to the rescue with a mechanic. He checked my car and told me that it needs to be taken to workshop. I told him I can’t spare that much of time as it was already 3 pm and I had an urgent meeting the very next day. He said in Hindi, “To iska koi jugaad ker deta hoon” (“He will do something”- Read it as temporary arrangement) so that I can reach Gurgaon. He connected some wires to the battery and asked me to test if the car is fine. I checked and my car was working perfectly. I thanked him and started my journey to Gurgaon and in around 4 hours I was there at my home in Gurgaon. Next day I went to a nearby service station and got my car repaired. Defining Jugaad ‘Jugaad’ is a word which is used very frequently in day to day life. As per Wikipedia, Jugaad means an innovative fix or a simple work-around, sometimes pejoratively used for solutions that bend rules, or a resource that can be used as such, or a person who can solve a vexatious issue. Both concepts express a need to do what needs to be done, without regard to what is conventionally supposed to be possible. Indovation, Chinovation, Hack, Kludge are some of the words which are used as synonyms to Jugaad. All the concepts express need to do what needs to be done without taking the same old beaten path. And The Thirsty Crow was the first to travel ‘the Jugaad way’ and now I know the current moral of the story is to use possible means, creativity and innovation whichever can help human kind to live a solution driven life.

Networking – A Skill of Winners!

We all have played Mario then Super Mario – the amazing video game. In my case, the center offered many games likes Contra, Spartan, Car Racer etc. but I always liked a game called, ‘Super Mario’. I liked its sound, powers, jumps and lot many things in the game. However I never wished my Super Mario to die but I lost it in most of my attempts. After losing each game I used to restart and play, but lost every time I played. After my ninth standard, I hardly got any time to play the Mario but the question about the end of Mario always made me think. Life went on. Like everyone, I completed my studies and joined corporate world. In profession most of us do not have a God Father so we can say we have to work and learn by experience. We all commit mistakes make more enemies than friends but we always work hard to perform well, to excel. We get promotions and keep on rising on the corporate ladder. Many a times we fail, it is something like maintaining strong & long term relationships and networking. I always; still wonder about the magic of relationship building and networking skills. One fine day, I found Super Mario game from my school stuff and I started playing the same. After reaching the 3rd stage I lost my Mario and stopped playing the game. And that was the moment, it struck me that; it was not Super Mario who died but it is the player who kills Super Mario. Then I started thinking about all those things which I could have saved but lost due to ignorance or ABC reasons. The first thing which came to my mind was my relations, which started well but never nurtured to lifelong. I gave it a long thought and discovered: ‘Our Relationships Are Like Super Mario, They Will Never Die Until We Kill Them’. In a game we never wish the Super Mario to die, similarly no one ever wish the relations to end up with fights/misunderstandings/grudges and what not. If Mario needs to be nurtured with powers to clear different stages of the game, the same way relationships needs to be nurtured with love, care, and most importantly communicating with your friends even when you don’t get chance to meet regularly. With the world becoming faster, people are becoming vulnerable. Life is demanding and hence relationships start taking a second place in the run. Why? Because we are all busy, we have deadlines, targets, bosses etc. And then we want to have an attitude, a lifestyle, money, power and what not. We want everything. And in the chase all we start losing out on is focus. Like in Mario – once you lose the focus, shifts priorities you end up losing Mario. You only save a Mario when you cross all stages with him an earn points. Similarly, if you leave the skill of networking, it is difficult that you emerge a leader and if at all you do, you lose out on points. Most people do not realize when and where they end up breaking a network or a connection. This realization only happens when we need a person who we haven’t connected from a long time. Save the connection – don’t kill the Mario. Besides your network allows you to help people in a better way. It is a trait we must work on as a skill. Effective networking is like saving the Mario and winning the game.

Way to 2011…..Happy New Year

IIM’s High Salary – Selling Trick for Common Man

Silicon India Reports: IIMs High Salary: The true story has a twist. Bangalore: As 2010 placement session of all the seven IIMs draws to close, it is being witnessed that the role offered to these graduates are more or less traditional and the salary packages are different than the packages which were making the buzz.Following the placement session getting over, the debate started across the corner that which institute managed the best offer? An IIM-Ahmedabad student was tipped to have bagged an offer for Rs 1.4 crore two weeks ago, which has reportedly been breached by the Rs 1.6 crore offer made by a British investment bank at IIM-Calcutta. But seeing these eye-popping numbers that have dominated headlines for some weeks, Saral Mukherjee, Placement Chief at the IIM-A said, “The truth is that the readers are being fed garbage.” This year, it has been totally different scenario, as the average salary offered by international banks at the IIM campuses are in the range of Rs.12-20 lakh per annum, while that offered by private sector banks is at just over Rs.9 lakh for IIM graduates. The top 30 percent were offered packages of Rs.12-15 lakh, the next 40 percent get salaries in the range of Rs.8-12 lakh and the remaining 30 percent get offers between Rs.5-8 lakh. Supporting the range of salary being offered, K Ramkumar, Executive Director at ICICI Bank said, “For a person with less than three years of experience, whoever is paying more than Rs 15 lakh is doing a disservice to their organization.” ICICI Bank has picked up 50 students from various IIMs so far this year. It looks really bad to see that how wide is the gap between the lucky few with ‘Rs.1 crore-plus’ salaries and the rest of the crop from the same elite campuses who are stuck with salaries of Rs 50,000 per month. For reader’s comment on silicon India, click here.