Having come across many Introvert, Low in Confidence cases, in my training programs and; personal counseling sessions, one day I tried to explain it in a well simple way through a very simple story which I read somewhere in my childhood. Here is the story:
‘PEMI de Niyane’ (The Children of PEMI)- A Tale of Faith and Belief
Once upon a time there was a farmer, called PEMI, who had two naughty kids. To stop his children from doing any mischief he used to scare them by telling them – if they will do any mischief ‘RASHA- The Wood Cutter’, who lived on the road to their farms, will catch and hurt them. This made the kids scared and they gave up their ill-discipline.
PEMI was a hard working farmer and used to leave for his farms very early in the morning only to return late in the evening. One day PEMI’s wife was not well and couldn’t cook. So PEMI left for his farms without having breakfast and asked his kids to deliver his lunch at farms.
By afternoon PEMI’s wife cooked food and gave it to her kids as they were to deliver the food at farm house, The moment his kids thought of crossing the road, to go to their farms, they shivered with fear. The fear created in the minds for RASHA – they now thought of him as a Monster. Once the food was ready, the mother asked them to go to the farms and give it to their father. They took the lunch box and moved towards the road leading to their farm. When they reached the road they saw a RASHA sleeping on the footpath and came back to their street. They started looking for someone who can help them cross the road. They waited for some time but it was a very hot day of summers hence they couldn’t sight any help.
Knowing their father will be very hungry, they thought to cross the road but they were so sacred of RASHA that they couldn’t even dare to leave their street and walk towards the road. With every passing minute they were getting late with no help in sight. They starting thinking how can they cross the road. After many arguments over many permutations and combinations between them, both the children agreed that if RASHA will try to catch and harm them, they will tell him to leave them as they are ‘The Children of PEMI’ and he would be scared of their father and won’t say anything to them. And they started walking on the road and reached their farm safely.
This story is amongst the best short stories of Punjabi literature and teaches us to keep Faith and Belief in ourselves. There could be thousands of fears in our minds but self-belief will always help us land safely. The children were scared of RASHA not because he was an evil (The story doesn’t say it) but they were simply insecure.
While I pondered and discussed my take-away from this very simple story, I could extract few more and here are they:
Wrong learnings have only temporary results and shall be avoided.
Restrictions are good but one has to be careful that what & how are its impact. Too many of them lead to lack of confidence. Childhood lessons have great impact and if not learned properly they result in lifetime limitations.
Examples shall always be realistic. They turn the explanations – better.
In many cases parents do say such things to their children to stop them from doing any mischief. The intentions though right led to certain insecurity in the children’s heart and mind forever. Skepticism can lead to a weak decision making.
Mostly children when grown-up fight certain feelings/lacunae in their life – be it at work, socially or personally. The value system which they imbibe at times, leave a gap in mindsets, they start having a mental block – a way of thinking which works as a hurdle when exposed to contrary situations. This at times makes life- all the more difficult. These gaps develop a strange resistance to ideas which are never welcomed.
Communications Gaps must not be there. One should have the freedom to express, talk and discuss. For this limits the growth, the personality and the power to acceptance.