Find your Inner Strength

A week back, while I was working on a leadership module for a level II executive batch of middle management & senior executives, I thought of another story from Indian mythology to back my content. Like I always maintain, stories enable a total recall. Stories not only evoke our brain cells but they also summon up the lessons. To explain, let me share an incident from Ramayana– Ravan abducted Mata Sita, Lord Ram’s wife, and took her to his capital, Lanka. Lord Ram searched for his wife all over and reached Rishyamukha where he met Hanuman and Sugrive and their Vanar Sena (Army). Lord Ram helped Sugrive regain his honor and reunite with his wife, who was abducted by his brother Bali. Hanuman and his Vanar Sena pledged to help Lord Ram and find Mata Sita. Lord Ram gave his ring which was to be shown to Mata Sita to establish their identity that they were sent by Lord Ram. The Vanars lead by Angad spread all across and started searching for Mata Sita. They reached the southern end of the land and ahead was a vast ocean. Crossing the ocean was a great challenge and they were sure that they won’t return without finding Mata Sita and decided that they will fast unto death. There they met, Sampati , a vulture and brother of Jatayu, who tells them that Mata Sita is in cruel shackles of Ravan and is sitting under a tree in his palace in Lanka. Sampati asks them to use their strength and skills to cross the ocean and reach Lanka. Like any new assignment, conflict or situation in our jobs/everyday life, they did their SWOT analysis. While they discussed their strengths and calculated how far they can go in the ocean- they realized that it won’t come close to crossing the ocean. Listening to all this, Hanuman got discouraged and separates himself from the group. He was getting into a stressful pressure cooker situation – he had the pressure to perform and accomplish the task at hand. Noticing him standing alone and discouraged, Jambavanth who was older than all the Vanars, goes to him and tells him about his strengths and tells him that he’s the only one who can cross the ocean. And all Vanars starts praising Hanuman. This is how a good boss, a leader influences the team and like most of the times – few could realize their inner strength and true potential. Jambavanth kept on telling – You are as powerful as the wind You are intelligent, illustrious & an inventor. There is nothing in this world that’s too difficult for you. You possess the ability to rule against every obstacle. As per Ramayana, Hanuman was cursed by a sage during childhood that he will forget his strengths and would be unaware of the extent of his capability & potential until he’s reminded by someone. Like in the modern age, we are surrounded by so many distractions, attractions, aspirations, opportunities, ill-focus and peer pressure that we start worrying about the problem so much that we eventually forget about our own inner strengths and we end up thinking about the problem so much that we do not even think about the solution. Remember, the capability to achieve things from our own inner strength lies inside, we only need to realize it and attempt. As Hanuman became aware of his strengths, his stature became giant and he collected his inner strength, tall enough to cross the ocean he jumped the ocean to in search of Mata Sita. [You can watch the relevant video from Ramayana here] Knowing ones strengths is most important for anyone who wants to be successful in his life. A true leader knows the art of exploring the strengths of his team member and motivates them to work on their strength to reach a common objective. Circumstances, Situations, Peer pressure, People Conflict are all external factors but one’s own strength lies within. Your success lies inside you. Realize and succeed.

‘PEMI de Niyane’ (The Children of PEMI)- A Tale of Faith and Belief

Having come across many Introvert, Low in Confidence cases, in my training programs and; personal counseling sessions, one day I tried to explain it in a well simple way through a very simple story which I read somewhere in my childhood. Here is the story: ‘PEMI de Niyane’ (The Children of PEMI)- A Tale of Faith and Belief Once upon a time there was a farmer, called PEMI, who had two naughty kids. To stop his children from doing any mischief he used to scare them by telling them – if they will do any mischief ‘RASHA- The Wood Cutter’, who lived on the road to their farms, will catch and hurt them. This made the kids scared and they gave up their ill-discipline. PEMI was a hard working farmer and used to leave for his farms very early in the morning only to return late in the evening. One day PEMI’s wife was not well and couldn’t cook. So PEMI left for his farms without having breakfast and asked his kids to deliver his lunch at farms. By afternoon PEMI’s wife cooked food and gave it to her kids as they were to deliver the food at farm house, The moment his kids thought of crossing the road, to go to their farms, they shivered with fear. The fear created in the minds for RASHA – they now thought of him as a Monster. Once the food was ready, the mother asked them to go to the farms and give it to their father. They took the lunch box and moved towards the road leading to their farm. When they reached the road they saw a RASHA sleeping on the footpath and came back to their street. They started looking for someone who can help them cross the road. They waited for some time but it was a very hot day of summers hence they couldn’t sight any help. Knowing their father will be very hungry, they thought to cross the road but they were so sacred of RASHA that they couldn’t even dare to leave their street and walk towards the road. With every passing minute they were getting late with no help in sight. They starting thinking how can they cross the road. After many arguments over many permutations and combinations between them, both the children agreed that if RASHA will try to catch and harm them, they will tell him to leave them as they are ‘The Children of PEMI’ and he would be scared of their father and won’t say anything to them. And they started walking on the road and reached their farm safely. This story is amongst the best short stories of Punjabi literature and teaches us to keep Faith and Belief in ourselves. There could be thousands of fears in our minds but self-belief will always help us land safely. The children were scared of RASHA not because he was an evil (The story doesn’t say it) but they were simply insecure. While I pondered and discussed my take-away from this very simple story, I could extract few more and here are they: Wrong learnings have only temporary results and shall be avoided. Restrictions are good but one has to be careful that what & how are its impact. Too many of them lead to lack of confidence. Childhood lessons have great impact and if not learned properly they result in lifetime limitations. Examples shall always be realistic. They turn the explanations – better. In many cases parents do say such things to their children to stop them from doing any mischief. The intentions though right led to certain insecurity in the children’s heart and mind forever. Skepticism can lead to a weak decision making. Communication Gap Mostly children when grown-up fight certain feelings/lacunae in their life – be it at work, socially or personally. The value system which they imbibe at times, leave a gap in mindsets, they start having a mental block – a way of thinking which works as a hurdle when exposed to contrary situations. This at times makes life- all the more difficult. These gaps develop a strange resistance to ideas which are never welcomed. Communications Gaps must not be there. One should have the freedom to express, talk and discuss. For this limits the growth, the personality and the power to acceptance.

Opportunity and You

Opportunity and You ! Once there was a king who was at war with a much larger country. His army fought with great courage but was beaten six times and finally the king and his army were driven in flight by his opponents. At last his entire army was scattered and the king was forced to hide in a cave. The king became miserable. He was tired, hungry and had given up all hope. The enemy was so powerful that he felt defeated and thought there was no use of trying anything more.As he was thinking about his future, he saw a spider trying to jump on her web. She jumped but fell short of her web. She tried again but failed again. And when she failed for the sixth time, the king thought, now she also knows what it feels like to fail for six times. But the spider didn’t lose hope and kept on trying. She made herself ready to try for the seventh time. The king forgot about his sorrows and watched her trying one more time. The spider swung herself to the corner of the cave and jumped on the web. The king’s heart came to his mouth when he saw her jumping on the web successfully. He was so enthralled that he cried and said – “Yes! I’ll also try for the seventh time.” He came out of the cave and called his men and told them what he had seen inside. He made a new strategy and regrouped his army. Then he fought for the seventh time and defeated his enemy. There’s an old saying which says, “Opportunity knocks the door once”. But, I fail to believe it. In fact we knock the doors which lead to our dreams. Opportunity is very curious and just to satisfy her curiosity, to see who is knocking the door, it opens the door and upon knowing who wants to grab her, she shuts the door in fraction of second and we miss the opportunity. Success and failure of a person depends whether he dares or not; to extend his hand, the moment opportunity opens her door, to grab it or keep on waiting for the opportunity to hold our hand and get along with us. But opportunity never opens the door to let us grab it. And we not only lose opportunity but we also lose the hope. To be successful in our lives, we need to dare and grab every opportunity that comes our way. Even if there is no opportunity, one should look for creating one. When the king was in the cave, he was defeated not only by the enemy but it was a ‘state of mind’ influenced by his circumstances, fatigue and hunger. The moment he saw the spider trying to jump on the web, he saw an opportunity in trying once again. He tried and he won the war. Moral of the story: Do not wait for opportunity to knock, chase it instead.

How Critical is it to be – Self Empowered?

I have been wondering since few days about Self Empowerment. And I have lately realized that it is critically important to be self empowered. In fact, self empowerment should be practiced as a way of life. A job, a business, a lecture, a movie, a shopping spree, an outing, a meeting everything needs self interests and a will to do it. Still, things remain incomplete. That’s because we are not self empowered. The though process is that of, ‘I want to do this but I would do it if…..’ These buts, ifs, though, may be suggesting a lack of self empowerment in most of the cases. That suggests one more thing that we are not self motivated enough to take the jobs & responsibilities at hand. Or there is a lack of will power which puts in our way of doing tasks on priority as compared to the actual tasks. Power boosting the following for Self Empowerment: External Motivation is of great help but actual help comes from the internal environment. How positive we are? And how positive can we think of? Positivism is a rule to self empowerment. I personally believe it’s a rule to life. It is necessary & important to lead a life – positively. Self Assessment at times helps us keep oneself self empowered. We need to enquire within, ask ourselves as what is stopping us and what triggers us most towards an activity. A combination of positivism & self assessment calls for a Self Talk. We need to analyze, ask & listen to our inner voice to gather ourselves. Meditation at times is also a great help. It helps us keep a Self Esteem for ourselves which in turn is most important for self empowerment. Self Esteem instills great trust & confidence in the abilities & self potential. It also helps one fight out the fears of heart & mind and enables a better concentration. A five minutes regular meditation will be of great help for self empowered. Empowering one would definitely induce self-belief and self-belief will proceed achieving. Be empowered be an achiever!

The Little Angel

Do you believe in angels? Have you ever seen an angel? I never believed till the time I didn’t meet a Little Angel. I was very young when I started learning to ride bicycle. I was quick to learn and just after a couple of practice sessions I was able to ride on my own. I was quite confident that now I can ride fast. As they say confidence is good but overconfidence always sinks the ship and I learnt this hard way while riding. I was driving fast when I saw a scooter taking a sharp turn and moving in my direction. I panicked and I applied the brakes. I lost control of the bicycle and I fell down on the road. A couple of bystanders rushed to help me. They picked me from the road and I was bleeding from my nose. They took me to a nearby hospital for the first aid. Doctor checked my injuries and asked if any of my family members was around. I gave him my father contact number and he was there at the hospital in next few minutes. Doctor told my father that there are no internal injuries but to stop bleeding I needed a couple of stitches, to which my father agreed. Doctor asked the nurse to give me an injection and then he will stitch the wounds. I was very scared of injections and I started crying due to tyrpanophobia. The moment nurse started filling the injection my screams got louder and louder. I was crying so loudly that my screams were audible to everyone present in the hospital. My father and everyone around tried their level best to make me agree for the injection but I was determined not to take injection. While they were trying to give me an injection forcefully, a 7-8 years old kid came to my bed and touched my head with his small hands. I could not stop myself looking at him as he said, “ਵੀਰੇ ਤੁਸੀਂ ਟੀਕੇ ਤੋਂ ਡਰਦੇ ਕਿਉਂ ਹੋ? ਮੈਂ ਤਾਂ ਨਹੀਂ ਡਰਦਾ l ਟੀਕੇ ਦਾ ਦਰਦ ਚਾਰ ਸਾਹਿਬਜ਼ਾਦਿਆਂ ਦੇ ਸ਼ਰੀਰਾਂ ਤੇ ਚੱਲੀਆਂ ਕਟਾਰਾਂ ਤੋਂ ਕਿਤੇ ਘੱਟ ਹੁੰਦਾ ਹੈ.”- (“Dear Brother, why are you scared of an injection? I not scared of anything. Pain of this injection is not even a fraction of the pain four sons of Guru Gobind Singh Ji would have suffered when they were hit by swords fighting evil”). His words just mesmerized me I stopped crying and got the injection. While doctor was stitching my wounds I was thinking about the sacrifices of four sons of Guru Gobind Singh Ji. Their sacrifice was for others and they had no personal interests while injection and stitches were for my early recovery. Surprisingly I felt no pain at all during the small surgery. I promised myself that I’ll never be scared again from such petty things like injections or stitches. I recovered in a couple of weeks and soon afterwards I started riding my bicycle again. I don’t know who he was? Where did he come from? Why did he inspire me to take the injection? I never saw him again and to this day I believe him to be “the little angel’, who was sent by God. He is amongst my biggest sources of inspiration. Whenever I see people scared from troubles of their lives; I share the story of ‘The Little Angel’ and tell them the importance of pains which leads us to better life.